Saturday, April 22, 2017

Trump's Acid California Dream

President Donald Trump thinks "California is out of control" and he's right.  California is out of HIS control.  People like Ronald Reagan and Jerry Brown understood California and what makes her tick.  Trump plainly does not.

Trump naively believes he deals with the flexibly-plastic Malibu Barbie as he points a gun at California to force his will, but he can't see the hippie-witch staring him down in the Bay Area fog as she quantifies his entire existence.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

California's Environmental Resurrection

California's natural kingdom rears its head with the deafening growl of a grizzly bear from mountaintops, fertile farmlands, Pacific Ocean waves, enchanted forests and blooming deserts as California reveals her natural mysteries.

As California's elements of earth, air, fire and water unite into a powerfully explosive force, the fabled land of gold fills the eye with dazzling revelations of rugged beauty existing long before the first humans set foot in paradise.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Where Does California Go from Here?

If tonight you see a barefoot chick in a nightgown driving aimlessly in the dark in a 40-year-old car, it's just California desperately escaping all the nerve-wracking monotony and trying to figure out her next move.

After 40 years of revolutions-turned-rehashed, innovations-gone-impotent and breakthroughs-turned-boring, California is numb from the worn dullness of an old "cutting edge" as she contemplates where she should go from here.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Californius and California Unite as One

Californius and California are finally united after languishing in passionate suspension for 61,000 days awaiting the night when animus and anima would eventually merge as one.

Under stormy skies of darkness, masculine and feminine energies clashed into a singular force as forceful Pacific Ocean waves crashed against the rocky shoreline of the reborn California Republic.

Californius Secures Golden Portal of 1849

The Californius Group has at long last secured the Golden Portal of 1849 following a tremendously expensive 40-year journey that began in 1977, during which many fortunes were spent and lives were lost.

The seizure and occupation of the great interdimensional portal of gold unites the entire California Territory from the western bank of the Rio Grande to the Pacific Ocean through the year 2299.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Church and State vs. The Individual

As church and state together form an adulterous union for absolute power and control, The Individual reigns in sovereignty, exerting the rights and privileges of divinely assigned earthly dominion.

Navigating through the chaotic confusion of outdated religiopolitical regulations and rituals, The Individual asserts the immutable laws of the inner kingdom to advance unhindered by church and state.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Valley of the Shadow of Death

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, oblivious to city lights looming larger with each step forward into the enveloping darkness, I fear no evil.

Evil is a powerless shadow, and this is the valley of a mere shadow, the shadow of death, and death is only a transition.  As the world fearfully retreats from the shadow across a bridge over troubled water, I calmly walk forward.

Friday, April 14, 2017

Female-Led Muslim Mosque Opens in Berkeley

The Qal'bu Maryam Women's Mosque in Berkeley, California held its inaugural service today as a non-segregated house of worship that welcomes all genders and has no Imam in charge.

The first Jumu'ah or Friday service at the new Berkeley mosque was attended by male and female Muslims, Christians and Jews, who listened to female prayer leader Crystal Keshawarz chant sacred Arabic prayers.